Pride and applejuice

Kids are curious and funny , little creatures. Well, very little ones… ones that can’t really verbalize what they want and so when they are upset all you get is a whine, cry or all out temper tantrum. In our case we have two children that do this, but they just do it on different levels.

Our daughter is a little easier to read. Up until three or four months old babies usually need either of a handful of things… either it is their diaper needs to be changed, they are hungry, sleepy or perhaps they have a tint of gas or the hiccups. These are baby basics and easily subdued.

You would think it would be the other way around, but as they get older they have more issues! Maybe it is because I offer him juice and because I didn't magically have the juice ready, at the time I asked him if he wanted it... he FREAKS out! I'm working on my choice of words now... Also, we may have the wrong TV show or movie and he wants to watch Super Why rather than Mickey Mouse Club House? It is amazing, he will pick the same movie to watch - everytime if we give him a choice... 9 times out of 10 it will be the Incredibles! Although, there are times he picks up Avatar or X-men: United, but when we take it away.

"No Mauldin," we say... "this is not a Mauldin or Elle movie, this is a movie just for mommy and daddy." He doesn't like that answer and will begin to throw all the movies from the cabinet on the floor as his revenge for not getting to view the film of his choice.

Mauldin's temper is the same everytime... it usually begins with a short whine or whimper and is followed with throwing his juice cup or toy (in this case movie) on the floor.

“Mauldin,” I look at him, “that wasn’t nice, now was it?” He looks at me with his big, 16-month, blue eyes, sometimes with tears running down his face, and just lets out a large exhale. This symbolizes a non-verbal “done.” Like, I’m done with this conversation. Now, granted 90% of the time our little man is a perfect gentleman. He follows the rules we set for him… he puts away his toys and relatively never gets into “trouble.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask him, not expecting an answer because his total vocabulary consists of probably six words: juice, up, down, zap, daddy and done.

“Da!” he says with much zeal, as if he had forgotten he was crying! He then puts two fingers to his mouth and begins flipping them on his lips which give me the clue that he now has something else on his mind and is ready to play again. Whatever was bothering him is now over and he has now moved on. Taking that toy away was so two minutes ago dad… I’m sure that is what he is thinking.

My son has many levels… the more in-depth and harder to control tantrums usually begin with laying in the floor and banging his head against whatever hard surface he is near… the floor, a cabinet, chair, his bed railings, etc… which creates more crying… It’s a vicious cycle.

We usually just have to pick him up and take him out of the situation or he will lay on the floor and just… well lay there. This past Monday morning he had woke up in a foul mood and so after getting his diaper changed (on the floor of our bedroom) and his clothes half on, ready to take him to daycare, he cried through the whole process… I gave up with his lack of cooperation and so I decided okay, I’ll just leave him be and he will discover I’m not paying attention to his fit… and calm down… Well, calm down yes, but our son is a prideful little man. Fast forward, five minutes later, and well, I come back to peek in on him from the bathroom and there he was, still… same place, hasn’t moved from the hardwood floor… one green sock on with the other laying on the floor next to him, I could see the hint of the alligator stitching from where I stood, he did have a shirt on, but his shorts were lying next to the alligator sock. The child just laid there, one finger in his mouth and eyes fixed on Special Agent OSO.

No one can break my child’s pride.

Now, where does he get this from? This is still an unanswered question.

No more newborns...

It has happened.

We knew it would, but it just kind of crept up on us.

What am I talking about you ask?

Mauldin, our almost three month old son, has officially graduated from his newborn diapers (N’s) to ones. The little man has grown so fast in the past few weeks and we didn’t even notice until he started peeing on his clothes because his diapers could no longer hold his excretments! Okay, that is kinda gross when I say it like that. Let’s just say his pee was seeping out and so it was time for something bigger.

“Eric, can you replace all the diapers with the new ones?” my wife asked me so sweetly.

She was busy nursing him. He was lying there nourishing his body so that he can grow into the next stage of diapers. The 2’s! It won’t be long before we will actually have to start buying diapers again. Laura, my wife, and I stocked up on diapers when she was pregnant so that we wouldn’t have to be buying diapers so often. Well, our stock has started depleting right before our very eyes.

"Maybe we can make it to September!" I said with a hopeful disdane.

"I'm sure we can.. he is only what?"

"Ten pounds" said Laura, finishing my sentence.

"Alright then! He is ten pounds and 1's diapers are for ten to 14 lbs, right?" I continued.

"Yes, that is correct." Laura said.

She was sitting on our couch with Mauldin covering up some of the best parts, might I add. She had on khacki shorts, a pink shirt and a head band with skull and cross bones on it.

"I noticed you wore your belle band today!"

"Ouch!" she yelped! "Yes, thank you. Does it look okay?"

"What's wrong?" I recalled her previous retortment.

"He chomped on my ..." she stopped in mid sentence and looked down at our little hungry hippo.

"If you are going to act like that, sir, no more for you."

Mauldin laid there with no regret on his face what-so-ever... it was if he was like...

"Yah, sure.. you talk all big and bad.. bring it on mom!"

"I can't believe how big he is..." I said.

"You said that already..." said Laura looking at me as if I was losing my mind to early Alzheimer's.

"Well it's true!" I replied matter of factly! "Our little man is growing up so darn fast... our little newborn is gonna be our little three month old here in a few days!"

"Buuurrrrp!"

Mauldin had finished his afternoon lunch. He sat in his mommy lap with a huge sense of accomplishment across his face... as well as a little drool. The drool slowly dripped onto his little green and blue stripped onesie that read "I love mommy."

"Mauldin!" Laura exclaimed in the I'm surprised, but I'm really not surprised mommy voice! "Well, our little man is certainly growing up just like his daddy!"

All I could do was stand there and beam with pride.

"Yep!" I said... "I'm so proud!"

Check out my latest article on my column for New Dads at Examiner.com.