Is my son secretly taking growth hormones?

I know it was inevitable that, MJ, our four-month old baby would start growing, but at this rapid of a rate... no, I had no idea! The little guy is getting bigger every day.

A lot of his clothes are becoming a little more snug... he seems to be more and more vocal every day and now his diet has switched it seems as if he has began to spout like some child who just got injected with some sort of growth hormones. I'm totally joking of course. It is the evil clock... the time has just flown by... you hear everyone say "enjoy it... they grow up so fast!" Okay, I understand now.

His little legs are longer, he has begun grabbing at everything... either it is my nose, my mouth, my wife's boobs (which I can't blame him, they're huge), the extra diapers by his changing table or the book we read to him before we put him to bed... he reaches out to touch, touch, touch!

It is actually really cute and I can't help, but laugh while he is squeezing my lips.. I look up at his big blue eyes that are affixed on my face and as he concentrates a couple of drops of drool pour from his mouth... I used to think baby drool was gross... but "my" baby's drool... doesn't bother me!
We lie him on the floor he rolls over and starts to scoot... not like a dog scoot... that would be kinda funny but then that would follow up with a trip to the doctor. We know he will crawl any day now.. I just hope I am around the day it happens. So, our little man is changing before our very eyes! Here is my plea little dude... slow down, I am in no hurry to have your poopie diapers smelling like real poop. I will long for the day when I could honestly say "My kid's s*$% don't stink!"

Bon Appétit

So our baby, our little boy, has graduated from his primary food source, breast milk, well not totally graduated, but lets just say we've added more options.

Rice cereal is now part of his diet.

The white, grainy stuff that looks like mushy slop they feed the contestants on Big Brother is now something we are giving our son to ingest to make him "big strong boy!" LOL!


Laura, my wife, will next try bananas and I feel I may barf while trying this because I detest bananas.

Here are a couple of pictures from our endeavors.

Bon appetit!

The last strawberry in my fruit cup...

So, I am not exactly sure when or how it happened, but my likes and dislikes have sporatically changed. My tastes for certain foods have switched on like a light switch in the middle of the night.

As I sit here eating my lunch and digging my black, plastic fork into my medium cup of fruit, from Chick-fil-A, and saw there was only one single strawberry left it dawned on me… who am I? I don’t eat strawberries! When did I start liking them? What is going on here?

Please understand what a pickey eater I am. First off, and please don’t judge me here, but I do not eat red meat and I haven’t for nine years. I can just hear Aunt Voula, from my Big Fat Greek Wedding, “You don’t eat no meat?!” It is quite a complicated choice and I have probably made it insanely annoying for everyone I love who enjoys cooking out, and during the summer it is a popular pastime, atleast here in Georgia. No cheese burgers for me, turkey burgers, yes. Chicken? Sure. Bison, not so much. All my friends and family have accepted me for my wacky and unusual choice, but isn’t that what your friends and family are supposed to do? Soy? No. You don’t want me to eat soy… if you give me soy you better hand over the Beano or gas ex and not just the regular or store brand… I need the ULTIMATE extreme… okay, moving on. I still get the “oh yah! You don’t eat beef,” and it is always followed with “why?” I, look at them, take a deep breath and sigh, and oblige to give a short and concise explanation of, “it’s just a personal choice.”

Moving on I will let you know I was always one of those kids who would say, “no thank you,” to certain things at dinner time and get togethers. Don’t you hate those kids? I detested cream corn, tomatoes, collard greens and watermelon. My love for coke never existed and I still hate that bubbly mess in my mouth. I know the taste for these items will never, ever change. Okay, probably… I have learned to never say “never.” However, I cannot say the same for scrumptious, caesar salads, delicious, red strawberries, juicy red or green apples, steamed broccoli, buttery asparagus, twice baked potatoes and coffee. Yes, I said coffee. I used to not drink coffee. Try to wrap that factoid around your brain. I find myself craving these things as if I were some pregnant woman yearning to satisfy my appetite. My appetite for those I used to gag to visualize on my plate.

What is going on here? Am I getting older and learning to appreciate more things in life? Is this normal? Why is it I hated eating Caesar salads about a year ago and then just one day… it was different. It was like an alien ship came to earth and reprogrammed part of my brain while I was sleeping. “You want strawberries. You are a good person. You want to go to the Island.”

Any thoughts or answers? I was just wondering.

Racing the clock....

“Hey babe,”

I said while talking into my cell phone to my wife, Laura, on the other end. It is a nice phone, it is my crack-berry, as my wife so eloquently calls it. It is something I have come to find I cannot live without. It is about a three inch high black and gray blackberry that has become one of my appendages. Mainly so because I am awaiting a call that says... "IT's time! Really, it is time!"

“I just got out of class and I am on my way home…I am starving…!”

It was 7:33 PM and I knew I would be cutting it close to get home in time to watch “Survivor.” It is a new season and the third episode would be coming on. I hate missing it. Between thinking of missing “Survivor” and eating I really started to have an mild panic attack.

You may wonder... "Survivor?" Okay, I have loved this show since the first season in Borneo. I have even tried out a couple of times. Well, when I was in my early 20s, that is. I would love to be on this show... mainly because no one would suspect I would do well. One day, one day... I will have my torch and I will be "the ultimate sole Survivor!" hahaha

“What have you had to eat today?” said Laura with a tone that I hate to hear. It is like she is disappointed in me… a tone only a mother usually would use.

“I ate.” I said, with short and to-the-point resonance.

“Ate what?” Laura asked.

“I had a Venti, non-fat, w/ whip Carmel Macchiato,” I said. “and a blueberry muffin!”

“Eric,” Laura said with a sultry sigh. “That is not enough…”

“I’m on my way home.” I interjected quickly, “can you maybe fix me a Caesar salad when I get home?”

“Yes.” She replied. “But, we don’t have any mozzarella cheese, can you pick some up at Publix?”

“Yep!” I said, “anything else? I was hoping this would be all because I was fading fast. The amount of sugar in my body was at an all-time low. I could feel my heart racing, I began to sweat and could tell that my caffeine buzz had worn off and all I had left were the jitters that caffeine leaves behind. I was basically a crack addict, but only thing was that my drug was coffee.

“Yes,” she said.

My fear was alive and well; she was going to have me meander around this store looking for something that I could not possibly find… it was probably going to be something of a womanly nature… like pads or something… however… I was cut off from my thinking when she said…

“Sweet tea. The Publix sweet tea, it is right next to the deli.”

What a sweet woman. She knew, to tell me, exactly where to go because being in my current state-of-mind I would need all the assistance in finding said beverage. By this time it was already 7:46 PM,; I knew I had less than 15 minutes to get into Publix, pick up everything I needed and be home in time for the opening montage.

I make it to Publix… I decide while there I will pick me and Laura up a sub so we can eat together. I am glad I did because, come to find out, Laura hadn’t eaten since 3 PM! I was in no mood to get into an argument, so I let it slide. I knew the argument would seriously cut into both my show and the affection I may receive later...

“Okay, I am home!” I said while running in and dropping off my laptop on the near by love seat. The love seat we have is so nice. It came from Rooms-to-Go, however, it sure has held up pretty good. But, everyone keeps reminding me that our house will soon lose its luster when Mauldin arrives.

“I’m glad to see you.” Said Laura.

I could tell she was waiting for me to notice she was there. I looked at the clock, it was 7:59 PM. I had made it! I couldn’t believe I made it home and had not missed my show! I ran over and kissed my wife ever-so gently on the cheek and embraced her. It was hard to get a good hug in lately due to her pregnant belly. I can’t pull her in as close as we used to without it being in the back of my mind that we are about to squish Mauldin to death. In my mind it felt like we were in slow motion. My mind was racing a million miles a minute due to the amount of caffeine I had ingested a few hours before. I was so hungry my primal instincts began to take over. I wanted food… I wanted it now…

“Yes,” I replied. “I am so glad to be home!”

I finally got home to eat salad, my sub; see my show and love on my woman.

Moral of story… Venti coffee’s from Starbucks.. can really mess you up. Get a grande.

Cravings

Alright, now, I know some pregnant women have cravings… yearnings if you will… and some pretty odd ones at that!

But, they are completely justified because... they are feeding not just them, but the baby within'.

I have a friend who loved chili-cheese fries (Megan), some ladies prefer salty crackers, sweet candy or sour pickles.

My wife, Laura, lucky for me, hasn’t had too many cravings. I mean honestly, I have had more cravings than she has! I have about four needs... for food! My vice for ice, my yearning for lattes, cheezits and can we say, "I scream, you scream, we all scream..."

Although, from what I have seen on television or known via stereotype, I have had it pretty easy. Whenever Laura has asked for something I certainly haven’t wasted anytime getting for her.

We were home just sitting in the kitchen and all of a sudden a look of both terror and delight was upon her gleaming face. It looked as if she had a feeling that she needed to have quenched, but was not sure how it would be done and it sent her into a trance of panic within her psyche.

I could tell she was thinking... "I want this, but how am I going to obtain it??? How will I convince Eric to go out with me to get it??? I need it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

“What’s wrong?” I asked ever-so politely.

“I finally got a craving,” said Laura.

“Oh wow,” I said. “What is it???”

“Cinnamon rolls…” she said, and continued. “and chicken salad!”

“Ewawhhhaaaa…” I said. “Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

So, we got ready and set out to the car and headed to the store to suffice her craving from the pregnancy gods.

“Do you just wanna buy some chicken salad?” I asked.

“No, I wanna make it, but I need to call dad to see how to make it!”

So, after we picked everything up at the store, we went straight home and Laura started creating her masterpiece of a craving.

“I feel like Steve Carrell’s character on the forty year-old virgin.” She said. “What if people ask me what I did this weekend? I will have to say, well I had a craving for chicken salad, but noticed I didn’t have all the ingredients, so I had to go to the store and get the chicken and the mayonnaise, and the ecrutrameau (sp)”

HAHAHA!

Well, if you or someone close to you has a craving… I mean they do not have to be pregnant, but anyway, if you have this issue arise, there are support discussion forums for this! Yes, I kid you not, check it out at:

Weird Cravings and more...

*I stand corrected by my wife... EGG SALAD*