Spending time in the kitchens

"How was your day dear?" my wife asks me as I walk in the door.

"Great!" I say in a sarcastic tone, "how was yours?"

In the background you can hear the familiar tune of "A, B, C, D...." as our son stands in front of out fridge repeatedly pressing a button that plays the song over and over... yet he never lets it get to any farther than D.

"Oh, it was good..." she continues, talking as she rumages through our pantry, most likely looking for something to cook us dinner for that evening. "Just a few more days until summer starts..."

I am also excited about the idea of summer because this summer will be my first I can actually enjoy without the lingering and painful thought of having to register for another semester of school. I am graduating this May and am so very excited about the accomplishment. Now, I say this in hopes that I pass my three remaining classes and that the party my wife has been planning for a month will not go all to waste.

"Oh, I'm ready for some warm weather..." I say. "We really need a vacation."

A vacation is not in our near future, however, due to the bundle of joy that the stork is dropping off at our door step come the end of June. I see him on the radar getting closer every day whenever I wake up and see that my wife, Laura's, belly is expanding at an alarming rate.

"My back is killing me," says Laura. "I feel like Elle just can't get comfortable for some reason."

We have decided to call our little girl "Elle." You may be a bit confused, but it is pretty simple, it isn't pronounced, "Ellie" it is just like the magazine or letter! Her full name is Estelle Lillian, but we are going to call her "Elle" for short. Sweet, simple, classy... well, atleast we think so.

"Dadadadadada," my son says as he come toddling to me at a quickening pace.

"Boom!" Laura and I say in unison. He gets to going so fast he can't seem to stop so he inevitably falls face down. Then we wait, we wait for the cry or the laugh. Thankfully this time he became distracted by a toy he saw on the floor near by and headed that way over to "his" kitchen area that his Aunt and Grandmother purchased for him at a garage sale. It is a pretty impressive set up he has, however, I will say the lack of food in his kitchen makes it seem like he is in a baby recession. Maybe they sell the food and baby food stamps too!

"Oh that's the correct place for this," Laura says as she opens the little, silver fridge door.

"What is it?" I asked.

"His phone, he put his phone and a blue block in his fridge," Laura said.

"Well, maybe that's where he knew he'd find it!" I said. "If I remember correctly you seem to misplace things a lot nowadays!"

"It's because I'm pregnant," she continued. "I can't help it!"

She reached down to pick up our little boy who was quickly pulling everything out of the cabinets where we keep "his" bowls. The bowls were actually a wedding gift from, well, I actually don't remember, but we still use them to cook with, but due to the multicoloredness they seem to make for fun play items for a 13 month old.

"Da!" Mauldin retorted. His right arm quickly rose and he pointed in the direction of the stairs, no where near where "daddy" was standing.

"Mauldin," I said. "Gimme five."

He quickly patted my right hand and proceeded to clap as if he knew he had done something correct.

"Yay!" We all clapped to show we approved of his accomplishment.

"Okay, Mauldin, are you ready for bath time?" I asked as if I was expecting a competent "why yes father, I would appreciate you taking me upstairs so I can bathe this evening... and afterwards I would prefer a massage while you sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and we can end the evening with a rendition of my favorite story, Pat them gently.

Instead all I got was "Da!"

One day at a time.

Trust in a modern world

I have always worried, worried that I would not be able to teach my child important things. You may say “what kind of things?” Well, I am not talking about stuff like riding a bike, casting a fishing line or even running a mile. What I am talking about are life lessons… like “being a honest person,“ “being courteous,” or “going with your gut!” I have always wondered how does one actually teach this trait? It isn’t really learned in school, or the home, but more of a life lesson one learns as they grow up.

You see random acts of kindness here and there, but you go on about your day and never really think about them. For instance, my wife, Laura, and I were out at Old Navy, we had purchased over the amount we had intended to do. We were in line ready to check out and a lady, we will call her the “Coupon fairy” and she handed us a coupon that ended up taking 30% off every thing we bought! It was amazing… but we went on and never really told anyone about it.

I was thinking about it and wondered.. does my little boy truly trust anyone besides his mommy and daddy yet? I mean there are different levels of trust, of course, but what is going through his mind when he is playing at daycare with his BFF Ben?

The idea of trust can get you in trouble sometimes… but there are instances when you have a feeling about someone that allows you to step out of your controlled comfort zone and let someone else do something for you.

I walk into a large brick building in the middle of the KSU campus, I push through the large doors, walk in and stretch my neck around the corner, to the right. I do this every Monday/Wednesday right before my Econ class. I have a huge gap of time between classes so I want to make sure I get my spot at the same table because this is where I hook my computer up. The building doesn’t seem to have ample plug-ins so everyone with a laptop computer or dying cell phone have them monopolized.

As fate would have it someone is sitting at my table on this very day, this very moment and my dreams of getting a blog written are dashed to the wind… At first, I see my nemesis at the, no my table. She is a young, Hispanic chick wearing bejeweled sandals and her toes are painted pale pink. Do I engage in conversation in hopes she will invite me to the table? Do I ask her for the time so she will look over and maybe offer the empty spot across from her so I can boot up my low battery? What am I to do, how am I to proceed? What if this girl is a total bitch and/or thinks I am hitting on her? I must choose my words carefully and stealthfully… my computer’s life depends on this stranger with pink toe nails.

“Hi,” I say “excuse me.”

She looks over, her pony tail swings to the left. “Yes?” she smiles.

“Do you mind if I plug my computer in at your table?” I ask.

Her table? It’s MY table… but I must be kind or I could be sitting at a squatty, little table with no way to connect to the World Wide Web.

“Sure!”

“Great,” I reply. “Thanks so much! I really need to study.”

The false statement just fell out of my mouth. I was intending to study, I wanted to write my blog! I’m such a blog whore.

The trust had been initiated, but my next step whet far beyond my expectation. I was not expecting to strike up a convo with this person... I don’t even want to know her name, but right now, at this very moment I need her. I need her to watch my computer so I can take about 20 paces in the opposite direction to grab a quick snack from the “Einstein Bros Bagel” Shoppe. I don’t like bagels per say I like their overgrown muffins… I should lay off of them because I am starting to get a muffin-top of my own.

“Hi,” I say after a short stint at the table. “How long do you expect to be here?”

As soon as I said this statement I wanted to retract it due to the response it may get. She probably thinks I am being an ass… she lent out her extra seat to a sad, college guy with no battery power and he already wants the whole outlet to himself. What a prick!

“Oh, probably 30 more minutes or so.” She replied with a hint of Spanish-heritage, like the Latin lady from Modern Family. (I love that show!)

“Great!” I continued. “Would you mind watching my computer while I run around the corner to the Bagel Shoppe?”

“No problem,” she responded. “Sure!”

Now remember, I don’t even know this girl’s name? All I know is she has conficasted my favorite waiting table and she may be hurtin’ for money and I will come back and all my stuff will be gone, including my computer which has the hard files with all my research for my Communication Capstone paper... then I don't graduate in May.. NO!

“What was I thinking,” I thought to myself as I stood in line at the Bagel shop.

“What would you like, Sir?”

I stood there thinking to myself, already having my phone in my hand ready to call campus police on the pink toed bandit who was waiting for me to gain my trust and take off with my HP Laptop complete with intel Centrino Duo chip!

“Sir?” the lady behind the counter repeated.

“Oh, a chocolate muffin please.” I said. “Oh and two waters.”

I went ahead and got another water for pink toed, Hispanic chick for watching my things at MY table.

“That will be $5.05”

I hand her my debit card and head back, quickly to the table hoping and praying she was still there and all my things would be there was well.

I felt like a total ass for doubting the kindness of a stranger.

I sat in my seat and reached over with the extra water.

“Thank you for watching my stuff” I said.

“Oh wow!” she replied. “Thank you!”

So, lesson learned, no matter how much life sucks and you feel like you can’t trust people… there are some people out there… some people who are nice, trustworthy people. So, whenever my little boy gets screwed over by a little friend at school I will be sure to tell him the story of the Hispanic chick with the pink toes.

Time! There's never any time!

Sometimes I feel like "Jessie Spano" from Saved By the Bell...

Although, there are many similiarities I am lacking, but the things that stand out the most are how often I say...

"Time, there's never any time!"

Although, I never applied to Stanford... the amount of Starbucks I consume would probably be the amount of pills she was taking... I guess I am addicted to caffine.

I am constantly finding myself having to think three steps ahead because of work, school and family. It is really hard juggling everything and finding time to fit everything in...

Even finding a day to schedule getting my hair cut, having the oil changed in my car or running to pick up the dry cleaning has to be minutly scheduled due to everything going on...

I, thankfully, and hopefully, will be able to mark one off of that list come this May. I will be officially graduating from Kennesaw State University with a Bachelor's degree in Communication. It feels like the day will never get here and tonight my wife decided to be the voice of reason for me when I almost skipped my Economics class...

I sit in my chair in my Statistics class and my professer tells us all he will see us on Wednesday... I reach down to pack up by red, Northface book bag. I put my calculator in the front, zipper pocket and proceed to stuff all the notes I so dilligently took during the class. I then reach over to my gray, Blackberry smartphone and proceed to text my wife, Laura...

"I will see you shortly!"

I almost immediatley recieve a message in return - BUUZZZZZ (my phone is almost always on vibrate.)

"Why?"

I start to wonder, why am I leaving class early? But, then I know it isn't just because my day had been hellishly long, or I was tired or even that I needed to go to the bathroom... I was looking for any really good excuse to leave campus... was I feeling sick, no. Oh! I wanna see my family. I want to tuck my little munchkin into bed and rock him to sleep before he gets to big for us to do that.

I text back, "B/c I said."

"Was class cancelled?" she replied.

I thought, should I lie? Do I tell the truth? The angel and devil were sitting on each side of my Black, Calvin Klein sweater... the devil kept turning my cap backwards and the angel was tryin to fix it back... I thought...I am an honest person and don't want to lie..

"No," I typed

":/"

I went ahead and called her and she played the "voice of reason" or "the bad guy" as she would call it. I wasn't mad at her... I was disappointed. Disappointed because I want to be finished with school... I want to be home.. I am tired of the whole college scene. I am too old for this.

I mean I wake up at 6am... am out of the house by 7am with Mauldin in tow and to work by 8am. My days feel so long during the week, but the weekends just seem to fly by as if they never even happened at all.

The amount of time I am alotted with my family is such a sad amount. I cannot believe how we all do what we do day after day. If you think about it... we all work so hard during our younger years dating... trying to find someone suitable to marry... then you either both work of just one of you, but no matter what you are still apart. The hours just do not justify... however, if we didn't work we wouldn't be able to have a roof over our heads, food, etc... the essentials to survive are no longer good enough. We all must have cars, enough money to buy nice clothes, etc... The vicous cycle goes on and on and all the while you are working to survive you work even harder to maintain the relationships you worked so very hard to find in the first place. A lot of people use their weekends for "girl's nights out" or "guy's weekends" away from their wives... Why? I barely get anytime with my wife and son as it is! I added it up and right now my wife and I actually get to spend, during the five-day work week, a total sum of 22 hours, waking hours to be with each other... even less I get to spend with my child! It's insane.

Now what is my whole point in this seemingly bitter diatribe? None, none at all... but isn't that what blogs are for? Thoughts on a screen...

Well, the only solace I gain from this is I am about to go to my Econ class and learn about the economy system in India. Really? May 5th hurry... please!

Ironing out the wrinkles

It is no secret that the economy has hit everyone hard in certain ways… Almost every family I know has cut back in one way or another.

We have done our share to save, for example, my wife fights her way through couponmom.com and the Sunday paper, on the weekends, to locate the different brands we buy. Luckily for us, this is the last month, for a while we will need to purchase any formula! I find it so impressive when we go to the grocery store and after all is said and done we have saved close to if not more than $50 off what our regular bill would have been.
Pinchin’ our pennies led us to forgo the fun movie channels on our Dish Network Satellite. We have since enrolled in Netflix and in doing so saved us about $60 per month.

We have resorted to ironing our dress clothes for work. I have numerous meetings I have to go to each week and so I need to have pressed and starched dress shirts readily available. We really like the cleaners we use. I drive up and they know me by name without even saying a word.
They are an asian couple, as most dry cleaners are and the wife has to be the nicest lady I’ve ever known.

“Oh hello, E-dic, how’s de baby?”

But, I certainly don’t get that type of reception when I drive up and the husband is there. I show up and he immediately goes to the cash register and heads back to get my clothes. He heads out, opens my car door (this is a drive-thru cleaners, by the way) puts the clothes in the back seat and hands me a receipt and tells me the amount I owe all without any type of salutation or greeting. I hand him my credit card, sign and am on my way. I can give “credit” he is pretty efficient without the banter of talking to customers. Maybe that’s just how his egg rolls!

Okay, I cannot take recognition doing our ironing, I have probably pressed three shirts in the two years my wife and I have been married, but I guess to her it is something she wants to do for her man. I wouldn’t want her out mowing the lawn. Don’t get me wrong, we are in no way making each other do certain duties, but this is how our marriage works!

I sit here typing this blog as my wife, so lovingly, sways back and forth in her long, gray pajama pants and blue school polo, hair twisted up in a sexy mess with her white pearl earrings still in her ears that she obviously has forgotten to take out from the work day. She painstakingly slides back and forth with her silver Shark iron in her right hand and a can of Niagara starch in her left. It seems just like yesterday that we received our iron as a gift from our wedding registry, we had no idea how much use it would of gotten.

“I like this shirt honey,” said my wife while holding a blue and white checked J.Crew shirt. “You should wear it more, it looks great on you!”

“Thanks babe,” I said. “You wouldn’t believe how old it is..”

“Well, I like it.” She replied turning and rubbin' her pregnant belly. “The bigger I get the more you should watch for this to end up on my side… Oh – Shhhed$#@!!!”

I turn and see the ironing board rocking back and forth in a swaying motion that of course set our very state-of-the-art iron Shark diving to the floor in a downward dive. Please understand we have hardwood in our bedroom and the end result to something like an iron falling on it cannot be a good one.

“Oh, are you okay?” I say while I look at Laura.

“Yes.” She replied, her face now a bit pink from the panic moment that just occurred.

I know I was hoping she was okay, but a large part of me was worried about our floor. Don’t get me wrong, I was so glad to know my wife hadn’t burnt herself, but I was almost equally curious if she had burnt the floor. The floor in our dining room has already been ruined from our dogs taking the opportunity to skip the outside pee route.

“How is it?” I carefully asked.

Laura is already sensitive from being pregnant, so I wanted to tread lightly and not make her feel any worse than she already felt. Besides, she was ironing MY shirts…

“It just left a little mark,” she said while bending down to feel the mark the Shark had gashed in our hardwood.

“Wait, what is that?” I asked.

“What?” she replied, “Oh…”

She bend down again, but this time her head went under the ironing board itself with the iron resting gingerly waiting to make another nose dive into our floor, but this time it would of gone right on Laura’s neck.

"It's just a white piece of.."

“Laura.” I said quietly and softly with my eye on hers.

“Yes?” she said while standing up and missing the board by the width of an American Express card.

“All I need for you to do is bump that, burn yourself, and we are off to the ER!”

She looked at me smiling that smile she usually gives me when she knows she has done something to irritate me.

We are certainly trying to save money, but my wife better be more careful or she may end up seriously injured from “The Shark!”

Is he asleep?

I cannot remember the last time I was able to get eight hours of complete and uninterrupted sleep. The idea that I used to sleep that much boggles every fiber of my being. I guess it has been 10 months, actually…

I used to turn over to my wife in the wee hours of the morning…

“How’s he doin’?” I whisper.

“He’s perfect.” My wife replies… “Go back to sleep.”

I hear the sweet lullaby music through Mauldin’s little monitor. The blue light illuminates our bedroom with it’s blaring, yet soft light… one wall bathed in a blue glow. I have gotten so used to the music that I barely hear it anymore. Although, I will notice if it stops.

“Did you put it on repeat?” my wife quickly asks.

“I thought I did,” I replied. “Crap!”

I throw the covers off and tiptoe on our cold, hardwood floor and make my way to the hallway. The carpet is a warm change from our room. I tend to have the ability to stealthfully enter his room, restart his music and walkout without stirring a mouse or a 10-month old boy.

The hard part is trying to get out of his room without stepping on and activating any of his toys!
“Mooooo!” or “whoo hoo!” would suddenly sound along with a few choice four letter words from my mouth. Luckily that hasn’t happened… my James Bond or Mission Impossible moves are pretty good.

Our son has graced us with the ability to sleep though the night without waking up, crying, wet or anything else that might cause a 10-month old cause to scream at 3am.

I haven’t known what to do… I used to wake up in the middle of the night for so long – I wake up now at 6am and don’t feel totally rested… why is that? I sleep yet I don’t feel rested? Ironic,

don’t you think?

I guess I should enjoy the uninterrupted snoozing because come June our lives will be turned into the late night feedings and rocking cycle again.

I thought the days or should I say nights of tired eyes was over… I was wrong, so wrong.

But, it will be so worth it!

Have you ever been to the ER with a child?

Have you ever been to an Emergency Room with a child?

Now you may be wondering "why were you in the ER?" Well, we went on Sunday afternoon to pick out pumpkins, have a fun day with family and enjoy a nice, crispy fall day. On the way home our little man was uncharacteristically pissy. He basically whined and cried almost the entire way home. We chalked it up to he was not happy to be in his car seat for the hour 1/2 ride home.

We come home and Mauldin seems to be really hot and on this 60 degree day there is no real reason for him to be hot to the touch. My brilliant and intuitive wife insists we take his temperature.

102 degree temp. I look at her and say,

"don't freak out!" knowing good and well she was well into the freakage zone.

"This isn't a teething temperature," said Laura.

"Lets give him some Tylenol and put him in a cool bath, that might help!"

So, I proceed to do this as we know this is what any doctor may first suggest, not to mention any parent we contact as well. After his splish splashy bath time I take him out and we take his temperature again, knowing that the Tylenol should of kicked in a little.

103.3. I look at Laura's face, and she is on the verge of tears.

"I'm gonna call the doctor on call and see what they say to do," insisted Laura.

Mind you, our soon-to-be three year old niece, Annagrace, has been sick since Saturday, however, Mauldin has had no contact with her. We know that Annagrace was on her way to "Children's" a local Pediatrics doctor office in Atlanta and the wait to get in to see a doctor is 3 hours!

While Laura is calling the doctor on-call - I proceed to call "Children's" to see about making an appointment.

I hear Laura downstairs, "Thank you. Yes, 103.3. 03/21/2009. Oh, okay. Thank you."

I hang up the phone with the very unhelpful nurse at Children's who was in mid- I'm sorry because they had no more spots. The best thing she could say was to walk in and wait the 3 hours.

"What did they say?" I say to Laura as I am 1/2 down the stairs.

I see Laura packing Mauldin's diaper bag and proceeds to strip off his onesie.

"The nurse on the phone said we need to take him to the ER," said Laura. "With a temp that high they want us to have him seen ASAP."

"Okay." I reply.

As I drive us to the ER my stomach is in knots and I am reminded of the stress level that I have before I speak in public or before my first date with Laura. My head was pounding, my hands were sweating as I gripped the steering wheel and the soothing sounds of Jordin Sparks and her "Battlefield" were not all that soothing or comforting so I proceeded to turn off the radio completely.

We finally arrive at the hospital, after what seemed like a million years in the car, and park in the parking garage across the street... apparently we aren't the only one's with an emergency this evening.



Dude, it's so ghetto... okay now I may get some flack for saying this, but in the case of the one we went to on Sunday night... I feel I am pretty accurate in my description.

As we are walking through the parking lot I look over at Laura as she has Mauldin curled up in her embrace. Mauldin's tiny arms and legs are bare to the elements and I start to wonder how is this going to make him better?

"I feel like such trash!" I say to Laura.

"What? Why?" Laura replies with a bit of laughter.

"Here we are walking into the ER with our child in a freaking diaper! How trashy are we? I mean who does that???"

As I say these words I look over to my right and there stands a tall, black man; with his girlfriend. The man is wearing a long trench coat reminiscent of something Morpheus from the Matrix would fashion. One can only imagine why he was there...

I look at Laura... "Okay, I don't feel so bad anymore... I may blog about this!"

After entering the pediatrics ward of the ER Laura goes on to sit with Mauldin as I fill out all the necessary paperwork. I felt so odd doing this because in filling out this paper work I am admitting my child is sick, so sick that we had no alternative choice but to bring him to the ER, the ER where people come when they chop off their limbs or break their arm while playing flag football. We are here in the ER exposing our defenseless and helpless 6-month old son to who knows what... Right then and there I felt like a terrible, terrible parent.

Our little guy was/is such a trooper, he is usually bouncin' around like Tigger, but this particular day he was more like a gloomy Eeyore.

His stuffy, "oh so stuffy," nose is just red and raw. He hates it when you try to wipe it.

Well, after finally meeting with the doctor, one urine sample, complete with catheter and x-rays they determined he was infected with the "flu." We were given a Rx for Theraflu, I believe, I think that is what it is called... and I won't get into the nightmare it was to obtain this medication. Have to make it... comon', seriously?

To top it off, my beautiful and selfless wife, Laura, has caught it as well... So, get well soon baby! I'm sorry you were the one to catch it.

I love you both.

Lucky S.O.B.

What is going on?

Tonight I actually sat down on our couch and watched the television after I got home. My beautiful wife, Laura, was in the kitchen cooking up a storm, a new recipe I might add... click here to see it.

My wife has always been an amazing cook. I remember the first time I stepped into her apartment when she lived in Buford, GA. As soon as I walked in I smelled a fragrance that skipped through my nasal cavity like the VanTrapp family in the "Sound of Music." I couldn't believe a casserole could smell so delicious... I won't get into the story of me going into a sneezing fit from her demon-cat Jackson... but maybe my reaction could of been that she was cooking up a powerful love potion, like the one in the Half-blood Prince, and that is why I had an allergic reaction. Until tonight I had no idea benadryl counteracts love potions. Why do I say this? We had to... okay I said I wouldn't go into it, well I won't, a lot, just a little. We had to go to the nearest convienent store to get me some allergy medicine because her three cats, yes I said three... made me have an allergic fit. But, maybe the cat was just a cover up and it was the fumes from the cass... okay I'm totally kiddin'! Well, either that or I have been under her control ever since... needless to say, if she had it has worn off and I am still around so, screw that theory. I look at it this way... cats are evil. Moving on...

What was my point? Oh, yes, I sat down on my couch and actually was able to view television without bouncing a four-month old. Yep, I said it, a four-month old. My son is freaking four months old. I had put our little MJ down for bed and he actually stayed asleep. In fact, he is actually still asleep while I am writing this blog, go figure, my luck he will wake up just as I... wait.. was that... no, he is still asleep, he does that sometimes. He likes to turn his head, whimper a little and drift back into nod-land. It also could be like in one of those old Disney cartoons whenever Goofy tries to wake up and a goofy look-a-like, "Mr. Sandman," always comes back and hits him on the head with a large mallet of some kind, some how lulling him back to bed. I figured after a while that would be a little painful and possibly cause some brain damage, but what am I talking about, this is Goofy!

I digress, as I sat on my couch, the king of my castle, with a glass of Pinot Grigio in my right hand and my legs stretched out all I could do was look into the kitchen to see my wife hard at work trying to have dinner ready before our child awoke and we would have to take turns cutting each other's food so that we could eat. The dogs playfully walked beneath her dainty feet as she skirted around cutting, chopping and well, cooking her hands to the bone. Okay, it didn't seem like she was working that hard, but she is an awesome cook so I have to give her some mad props.

All I could do was sit and smile and know that I have a great life. It doesn't matter if something bad or shitty, there I said it, during the day happens because I know that I am one lucky S.O.B. and if my mom and MIL did not read my blog I'd write that out. I am not afraid to say what a wonderful situation I have... My wife is perfect and I am so lucky she picked me to share her life. There are so many blogs out there and I hope, no I pray, that people come to my blog to read about what is going on in my life because maybe, just maybe, I can put a smile on their face so that they can know there is true happiness out there.... and you know what? I am one of those people.

Did you pack his DVD's?

“Did you remember to pack his Baby Neptune DVD?” I asked my wife Laura as I strolled through the kitchen on my way to the garage door.

The kitchen was so clean, the counters did not have random bills, magazines and pictures on it. The sink was empty from all glasses and dishes. It was a clear sign that either a maid had been here or we were about to go out of town. We always try and clean the house up a little bit right before we leave so we don’t come home to a mess. This weekend we were heading to one of our favorite getaways, Chateau Elan. Chateau Elan is a local Atlanta Spa, and winery, that we go to on special occasions and this upcoming occasion was none other than our one-year wedding anniversary.

“Oh! Oops, no I forgot!” my wife Laura exclaimed. “Can you get it?”

“It’s okay,” I said while holding Mauldin. He was resting on my right shoulder. I had just changed him into a little white onesie that had little green alligators showcased randomly.

“Here,” I said; handing off Mauldin like he was a bag of groceries from Publix.

“Go ahead and be putting him in his car seat carrier and I will go get it.”

“Sounds good.” Said Laura. She took Mauldin and with her other free hand pushed her oversized, black sunglasses up onto the top of her head in effort to see in the darkness that was our house. As I hit the stairs running I could hear her baby talking to our son, Mauldin, just in a way that only the mother of my own child could do and it not be insanely annoying.

(Insert cutesy, high pitch voice)

“Are you ready to go to Nana & Papa’s?” she started.

“Oh yes you are, oh yes, we are going to be happy aren’t we? Uh hu! Yes, yes, yes!”

Her voice trailed off the closer to the nursery I reached. I had to get this video for him because it seriously is one of the only videos he really pays attention to… Of course, we are not sure what is going through his mind, but we expect it is something knowledgeable and very advanced. (insert sarcasm).

I walked into my son’s nursery and the room is lit up, on the left side of the room, because the window blinds were open and the mid-morning sun was shining through. It was if the light was trying to reach out to Mauldin’s closet. The light beams hit the floor and bent up the white closet doors. The illumination reached up halfway; highlighting some of his cute clothes through the crack in the middle of the two doors. You could see hints of blue, red and yellow from a pair of overalls that showcase Winnie-the-Pooh. He wore it during his first photo session at Babies R-us. Whenever I see them I immediately crack a smile because I am reminded of how tiny he was that day…

I reached out… the light cast on my right arm as I opened the portable DVD player that rest on top of the antique cabinet that is home to many receiving blankets, sheets and sleepers. To my dismay the DVD was not there, but as I scanned the top of the dresser I saw it lying in the middle of Baby Bach and Baby Monet. It struck me, “what would it hurt to bring all three DVD’s?” I like to make sure he has as many comforts from home as I can. We were told not to bring diapers, blankets or wipes because my in-laws had all this in stock at their home. My in-laws have three grandchildren so the amount of diapers they keep on hand is staggering. However, each child is a different age, 4 ½, 2 ½ and 11 weeks, so, I’m sure, it does come with a bit of financial complication, but I just don’t ask questions... I am appreciative. My parents are the same way… thank the Lord for caring Grandparents. We packed the little man clothes and breast milk and his DVD’s.

I contemplated packing more, just in case, but decided not to and turned and headed for the door ready to hit the road so my wife, Laura, and I could make it to our destination, Chateau Elan. This would be the first time we would be leaving Mauldin over night. It hit me on the way down the stairs, we have to leave the little guy… we haven’t left him over night before… I kept saying this in my head over and over.

“It is going to be okay.” Laura said.

“What?” I replied.

“He is going to be alright. I know you,” She continued… “I know what you are thinking.”

I stood there holding three Disney Baby Einstein DVD’s and my grip was growing more and more firm as if it were a metaphor for Mauldin and not wanting to let go.

“He is ready to go and so am I.” Laura said.

I nodded with an affirmative “Yes.”

Laura grasped my left hand and leaned in and kissed me. It was at that moment that I knew I had nothing to worry about. My wife has the uncanny knack to always put my mind at ease no matter the circumstance. So, what happened? Well, lets just say the weekend was perfect, well we did miss our exit going to Chateau Elan and going to Laura's parents house, but I will say if that was the only hiccup our weekend exalted then I will say it was close to perfect.

But, you can blame the "exit" issue on me... well not totally on me... it was a joint oversight.

I must say...

I’m a very lucky man.

I just want to take a moment, to thank my wife, for marrying me.

This weekend, on June 7^th to be exact, will mark the day where my best friend and I tied the knot. This Sunday will be our 1 year wedding anniversary. I cannot believe how fast a year has gone by, but I have enjoyed every minute of being married to the one person who brings out the best in me. I am a very lucky man and I hope Laura knows how much I love her.

I am very, very excited about celebrating our 1 year anniversary, this weekend.

My wife is the kind of woman who is perfect, so perfect in fact I have to sometimes remind myself I am not living in a dream... the idea of her is unfathomable! We made such a beautiful child... Mauldin is.. well, perfect! I said it once, but will say it again... I am a very lucky man to be married to such a loving, caring, smart, beautiful, okay, okay...

Laura, I love you. That is basically what I meant to say at the beginning.

Thank you for marrying me. I am honored to be your husband. I love you.

Eric

29

It occurred to me, the other day, on Easter, that I was hitting a major milestone along with my son… I was having my 29^th Easter and my son was having his first!

A few days prior, to Easter, I had my 29^th birthday. Now, please understand, I know 29 is just a number, but coming to grips with the idea that I was actually that much closer to 30 kinda freaked me out.

Has my hair really receded that much? Has my waistline grown more? Is my back going out more than normal? I can say yes to two of the three and I won’t specify which ones. Hint: I will say that I noticed my age the other day when I went to the gym… I haven’t worked out pretty much since Mauldin arrived. I certainly haven’t had the time, but Laura is losing weight faster than the speed of light. However, it seems I am gaining what she is losing. I walked into the gym and proceeded to hop on the nearest treadmill… I wanted to do the elliptical machine, but all were taken at that moment. Of course, the machine I want to use is… well, in use. I run on the treadmill for approx. 10 minutes, give or take a second to tie my shoe… and head over to the bike machine because the Elliptical was still being used. It would be my luck as soon as I start the bike someone finishes up on the Elliptical machine and someone else hops on right away… I had no idea they were so damn popular! Anyway, I ride the bike for another 15 minutes and head home… My muscles were already burning from that small amount of cardio – what is wrong with me? I used to run a six minute mile, although, the key word was “used” to. The next day, while I am at work… I take a deep breath and “Ohh,” my back… some muscle, I hadn’t used in a while decided he was pissed off and needed a moment to flare up and screw up my day…. Sorry, week.

Now, it also occurred to me, while on said treadmill, Mauldin and I are 28 years and some days apart… now I guess that makes me qualified to say “trust me, I’ve been there” and “because I said so…” when he gets old enough to ask me questions, but honestly, when you think about it, I’m a full-blown adult! At least, I am considered one by law, although, I don’t feel it. My mother-in-law, Carol, gave me a gift card to Abercrombie and, although, it is a very nice gift, should I still be wearing Abercrombie? I walk into the store and gag at the amount of cologne they spray in the air and are, more often than none, given shifty and dodgy looks by the other patrons and employees of the store. I mean I know I am not going to switch over to denim from Sears or JC Penny, but I don’t want to be one of those parents who walks around still wearing stupid clothes that I wore when I was 22! I have some choice t-shirts that I think are pretty funny, but I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing out in public, anymore.

For example:

Horn if you’re Honky

Original Foreplay

I’m naked under this shirt

Nebraska: It’s a great shukin’ state

I mean, my wife and I actually made an agreement, at 26, to cease and desist shopping at certain retailers after 28, because it just makes us feel old when we go in there… But, am I really there? Will someone nominate me to the show “What Not To Wear?”

I am seriously not sure if I would feel comfortable having such restriction just because of my age… however, when we are out and about we see parents who have piercings in odd places and baggy jeans past their butt with huge chains, etc… while strolling through Target with their children in tow. I do not wanna be “those parents.”

So, I am currently working on sifting through my closet to retire many of my favorite and most comfortable T’s…

I cannot believe I am (and I quote) “pushing 30.” Lord give me strength.

P.S. – my back is much better, so gym, here I come! (and for the record, I workout with my shirt on... stupid Bo-flex commercials...)

My Life Would Suck Without You...

Today, after I picked up my six inch. turkey sub, on wheat bread, complete with Swiss cheese, mayo and just a squirt of spicy mustard, from Publix, I turned on the radio; to Sirius/XM 20 on 20. I was on my ride back into the office, in my car, when I heard Kelly Clarkson’s new song, “My Life Would Suck Without You!”

Now this isn’t the first time I have heard this catchy tune…you would have to be living under a rock not to have heard it! My apologies to my blog-fans who reside under rocks. But, I mean if you get internet access you could atleast turn it to xmradio.com, right? Okay, I digress…

I immediately thought, “My life will suck without my 20 on 20 playlist from Sirius Radio!”

I understand my days are limited where I can enjoy the “un-cut” versions of songs. I don’t even actually enjoy some of the stuff that is on the airwaves these days… Just the other day, to skew from the subject, just for a moment, Laura and I were skimming the channels and ran across the new season of MTV’s“The Real World” and apparently it is set in Brooklyn… I just felt so detached from that show now… I feel I cannot relate to it anymore… I felt, so, so… so, I’m going there, old. I felt old.

It is inevitable, upon the arrival of our bundle of joy, our song choices, for the car and at home, will be altered to child-friendly melodies. Sweetly sung diddlies that will enhance and put a signature smile of his gleaming face. But, then I thought, while looking in my rearview mirror and gazing upon the Graco snug-ride base, in the backseat, sans baby carrier and baby, that will today’s music really effect him that much? Will I be restricted to “safe” tunes? I know my wife is on my side with this. Can I stomach only the “safe” stuff? Also, another tangent, we were in a children’s store and they music they were playing were popular songs, but sung by a gaggle of children! It was basically making me ill to listen to it. Poor Ryan Cabrera, Tonic and John Mayer have had some of their songs converted into a tune where a chorus of children belt it out as if it is a song they would sing while in music class! I was appauled and threw up in my mouth a little…

I thought, what do I listen to on a day-to-day basis right now? What is frequently played on the airwaves? Lady Gaga, Rhianna, Britney Spears and T-pain… truly… will this genre of music poison my son’s brain and cause him to act differently? Will he be swayed to wear his little diaper down to his knees because that’s how his “homies kick it?” Has there been a study done on the effects that pop and ghetto music have on infants? Surly not! Do I want to be a case-study? No. So, what are our choices…lets see… well, the regular music we listen to now while mixing in the soothing lullabies, a little Radio Disney, here and there, the occasional, various children’s CD (Old McDonald, etc…) and classical music; as to stimulate our son, so he can be the next Wolfgang Amadeus. I know some people who swear by Christian CD’s and the like, but honestly, and let me preface I am not against the Christian music, however, it’s kinda lame. But, that’s just my humble opinion… comment how you will…

I sometimes see my nephews, niece or even children of my friends and the little one's try to dance... they shake their heads and basically get giggy with themselves! It's classic! Will Mauldin have rhythm? Will he bust a move? Only time will tell...

I would certainly like to have a well-rounded child, but I guess I will play whatever, in the car, and he will latch on to something he enjoys, right? So, either he will be wanting to sing-a-long to “How much is that doggy in the window..” or he could hum along to JT’s Summer Love. Whatever the case may be… the music I listen to will be limited… but honestly, without some mainstream music in my car… I may lose my mind!

Racing the clock....

“Hey babe,”

I said while talking into my cell phone to my wife, Laura, on the other end. It is a nice phone, it is my crack-berry, as my wife so eloquently calls it. It is something I have come to find I cannot live without. It is about a three inch high black and gray blackberry that has become one of my appendages. Mainly so because I am awaiting a call that says... "IT's time! Really, it is time!"

“I just got out of class and I am on my way home…I am starving…!”

It was 7:33 PM and I knew I would be cutting it close to get home in time to watch “Survivor.” It is a new season and the third episode would be coming on. I hate missing it. Between thinking of missing “Survivor” and eating I really started to have an mild panic attack.

You may wonder... "Survivor?" Okay, I have loved this show since the first season in Borneo. I have even tried out a couple of times. Well, when I was in my early 20s, that is. I would love to be on this show... mainly because no one would suspect I would do well. One day, one day... I will have my torch and I will be "the ultimate sole Survivor!" hahaha

“What have you had to eat today?” said Laura with a tone that I hate to hear. It is like she is disappointed in me… a tone only a mother usually would use.

“I ate.” I said, with short and to-the-point resonance.

“Ate what?” Laura asked.

“I had a Venti, non-fat, w/ whip Carmel Macchiato,” I said. “and a blueberry muffin!”

“Eric,” Laura said with a sultry sigh. “That is not enough…”

“I’m on my way home.” I interjected quickly, “can you maybe fix me a Caesar salad when I get home?”

“Yes.” She replied. “But, we don’t have any mozzarella cheese, can you pick some up at Publix?”

“Yep!” I said, “anything else? I was hoping this would be all because I was fading fast. The amount of sugar in my body was at an all-time low. I could feel my heart racing, I began to sweat and could tell that my caffeine buzz had worn off and all I had left were the jitters that caffeine leaves behind. I was basically a crack addict, but only thing was that my drug was coffee.

“Yes,” she said.

My fear was alive and well; she was going to have me meander around this store looking for something that I could not possibly find… it was probably going to be something of a womanly nature… like pads or something… however… I was cut off from my thinking when she said…

“Sweet tea. The Publix sweet tea, it is right next to the deli.”

What a sweet woman. She knew, to tell me, exactly where to go because being in my current state-of-mind I would need all the assistance in finding said beverage. By this time it was already 7:46 PM,; I knew I had less than 15 minutes to get into Publix, pick up everything I needed and be home in time for the opening montage.

I make it to Publix… I decide while there I will pick me and Laura up a sub so we can eat together. I am glad I did because, come to find out, Laura hadn’t eaten since 3 PM! I was in no mood to get into an argument, so I let it slide. I knew the argument would seriously cut into both my show and the affection I may receive later...

“Okay, I am home!” I said while running in and dropping off my laptop on the near by love seat. The love seat we have is so nice. It came from Rooms-to-Go, however, it sure has held up pretty good. But, everyone keeps reminding me that our house will soon lose its luster when Mauldin arrives.

“I’m glad to see you.” Said Laura.

I could tell she was waiting for me to notice she was there. I looked at the clock, it was 7:59 PM. I had made it! I couldn’t believe I made it home and had not missed my show! I ran over and kissed my wife ever-so gently on the cheek and embraced her. It was hard to get a good hug in lately due to her pregnant belly. I can’t pull her in as close as we used to without it being in the back of my mind that we are about to squish Mauldin to death. In my mind it felt like we were in slow motion. My mind was racing a million miles a minute due to the amount of caffeine I had ingested a few hours before. I was so hungry my primal instincts began to take over. I wanted food… I wanted it now…

“Yes,” I replied. “I am so glad to be home!”

I finally got home to eat salad, my sub; see my show and love on my woman.

Moral of story… Venti coffee’s from Starbucks.. can really mess you up. Get a grande.

Read the fine print...

It’s the beginning of, yet another, event-packed month. February, the shortest month of the year happens to be one of my least favorites, why you ask? Well, for one, Valentine’s Day, oh St. Valentine why did you have to be recognized? I mean basically it is one of the biggest money making month’s for Hallmark and flower companies… I have never liked it, especially when I was younger… You probably are thinking “did you not get a lot of fun Valentine’s at school when you were little?” Well, if you must ask, yes, yes I did get Valentine’s, many to be more precise. But, I don't like to brag, so lets move on... That isn’t the reason for my lack of luster on this not-so-fine pseudo holiday.

Thank heavens this year, February 14^th, is on a weekend so I don’t have to keep up-ing myself every year to impress… who you ask? My wife’s co-workers! You were probably thinking I was trying to impress my wife, right??? Well, heck no, I give her stuff all the time. I come home, on the very oddest of days, and bring her a couple roses or even a bouquet just to see her gleaming face of appreciation?! Yes, I do that all the time. Why? Because I usually get a kiss... and because I love my wife. I like to surprise her and keep a little bit of excitement in our relationship!

Although, on the day of the cupid, you are supposed to go WAY overboard to show up all the other husbands and boyfriends, etc… who bought their “sweetie” gifts and sent them to their wives, girlfriends, lovers, mistresses, etc… at their places of employment. The rose bouquet becomes a status symbol, if you will. The bigger the bouquet, the bigger the wallet. However, this year, I would say, the bigger the bouquet, the bigger the stupidity… who really can afford to spend $200 + on something that is going to DIE in a couple of days?

Well, not me, not me. Sorry 1-800-flowers.com! Not this year… I would like to be able to pay for things such as my mortgage, water bill and my son’s impending hospital bills… So, stop sending me all the FREE Shipping emails, with all the fine print! When you get to the website reads, with any purchase over $75 or more! Evil.

I'm sweating the small stuff...

The end is near, well atleast the end of Laura’s pregnancy!

Today, at 3 o’clock, is the first doctor’s appointment of our third trimester. (insert Cheers in the background -think surround sound!)

Last night we were sitting in the nursery, as we sometimes do, like we are just waiting for him to walk through the door.

“Hey mom, hey dad! I’m here, change me, burp me, feed me, love me...”

But, of course there is a lot more to a baby than just that, right? (Rhetorical question) All those things are a big part, but I guess we left off one of the big issue… the birth. He has to be born! Speaking of… my beautiful wife has signed us up to have a “birth class” next month. It is a two-day, extensively long, very long class that we are making ourselves go to! I mean, we are paying to do this… are we crazy? It is like going to work, on the weekend! But, maybe we will learn something.

My fears and concerns are becoming more apparent as the days pass. I don’t want to end up on a lifetime special… “our child, switched at birth.” Is there a way we can maybe ask the nurse or doctor to put a huge RED “X” on his lil’ hand or something to signify “this is Mauldin James Skates,” he is our child and don’t you dare try to steal him. I don’t wanna sound like an overly anal freaky parent, but do people actually do this type of thing? Can we request it? Or am I overacting a little bit?

Looking ahead, Laura mentioned to me last night we need to think about a hospital route. Well, yes, that is a good idea, but what if you go into labor and I am not even around? I am at work for eight hours of the day, and the next few months I am taking classes to finish my bachelor degree so what if I am at school? So, do I need to pack a bag and have it in my car at all times? Just thinking about this sent me into panic mode, so I went ahead and got out a small, black L.L.Bean duffle bag and stuffed a wide array of things I may need at the hospital baby wing.

It feels like a month ago we had so much time to prepare for the arrival of the man-child, but now, I am starting to sweat the small stuff… But, luckily Laura has three showers in the near future (one this weekend) so hopefully anything I am worrying we do not have… we will have! I keep hearing, diapers, diapers, you need diapers! Well, the other day we showed off the stack of boxes in our upstairs bonus room, of diapers, and you would probably think people would say,

“wow- that’s enough to cover the kid until the year 2030!” (lets hope he is potty trained by then) But, instead this is what we hear…

“yah that’s a good start, but not nearly enough!”

Insert, OMG and a jaw drop….

Well, prepared or not, we have 81 days to go!

Decorating for the Holidays isn't easy...

For some reason, this year, my wife, Laura, and I have been slow on putting out our Holiday decor'.

Being pregnant causes her to not be able to lift the decoration tubs... etc... I help of course, but she is usually the one who fuels the fire of "decking our halls." Last year she made bows and put a wreath, complete with glittering gold bow, on every window of our house.

Now, granted, we were sure to put out the trees, yes, you read that correctly, my wife insists we have TWO Christmas trees, versus the normal one.

However, she grew up in a house that had multiple trees, so my compromise is two. Anyway, we have somehow lacked and missed putting out the outside decorations... ie. the Christmas lights, wreathes on the windows, garland on the mail box, etc...

Now we are supposed to be having a Holiday get together this weekend and how will it look if our guests show up to a house with no Christmas decorations when they are coming to our home for a night of well-mannered and joyous frivolity?

"Don't you think we should at least do something outside?" I asked Laura.

"Well, I mean, yeah, but it has been hard to this year... either I have been sick, you have been sick, it's been cold ... etc..." said Laura.

"Yah, but I feel weird about having a Holiday gathering and there is no holiday decor for anyone to see! It will just be a get together in December, won't it?" I said.

Now please note our dinner party is Saturday, it is Wednesday and we are running out of time.
And, now, again, something has come up so we can't put out the Christmas decorations...

Rain. It is raining. And, I don't know about you, but putting electrical equipment out on a house touching a latter that would be a very good eletrical conductor as well as the gutters, I would think... maybe it isn't such a good idea.

So, maybe Thursday, or even Saturday morning! HAHA!

If not then next year we will be sure to "deck our halls" for Mauldin's first Christmas!

Water, water, everywhere!

Okay, do I have a story for you!

But, before I do let me just say, when you are forced to use your split-action reflexes, then you can really find humor in this anecdote.

Yesterday, after I got home from work, Laura and I were standing in the kitchen recounting the details of our ever-so hectic days at work. We were having the usual “how was your day honey?” talk.

We fixed a couple of turkey sandwiches and sat at our bar counter to enjoy what dinner we had before Jenn, Laura’s sister, came by to pick her up for the impending PTA meeting.

“Today was really busy and can you believe I have to go back for a PTA meeting?” Laura expressed so joyfully.

“Well, my day was crazy too, and just think, all I was looking forward to was coming home, watching TMZ and being lazy with you on the couch.” I said while standing in front of the sink.

“Oh and don’t forget that we need to take out the trash,” Laura said.

“Oh yah, or our house will end up smelling really bad when we get back.”

Laura and I had planned on going out-of-town, for the weekend, to the mountains, in North Carolina, with her parents, sister’s and brother-in-law.

I remembered, “hey, have you emptied the coffee yet?”

“No,” Laura answered so gracefully while putting down her sandwich.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I can’t eat this,” she said while putting her hand over her mouth, now full of what seemed turkey sandwich. “Baby Skates doesn’t seem to like it.”

I proceeded to go over to our new coffee marker, which we had gotten as a wedding gift, and emptied the old coffee and coffee grounds. I love the smell of coffee, but to think we would get back and in from a weekend and find it was producing new life from mold spores I thought to preserve my love for coffee it might be best to throw it out.

I started to empty it in the sink and pour out the old coffee.

“So, have you finished packing yet?” asked Laura while she watched me smell the nasty old coffee grounds.

“No,” I said while turning on the facet and washing the sink out. “I was gonna do thaAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” A cold blast of water came shooting at my shoulder soaking my gray polo shirt and splattering not just all over my face, but shot clear across the kitchen straight into our den.

My first thought was stop the water from going in my face. I reached out my hand to stop the flow of evil, cold water, but it just squirted it in a different direction.

Why wasn't it stopping it?! Duhhh...

Thankfully it hit the pilar that stands in the middle of room that separates the kitchen and den.

Water was everywhere… all over the kitchen floor, the hardwood floor in the den was thoroughly soaked, the couch, end table, pictures, books, coasters, almost nothing escaped the streaming water flow from our angry sink which did not seem to like being separated from it’s facet counter-part.

Thank the Lord Logan and Andy were out side, or they would have freaked out! Andy would of probably ran in terror!

My instinct was to block the flow with my hand, but immediately remembered Laura telling me how this happened to her when I wasn’t home and she did the same thing before thinking, “turn off the facet!” Brilliant woman!

Thanks to my wife, and my Spider-man like reflexes, I pulled the lever to turn off the water and started the clean-up process.

“Laura, can you run and get me the swiffer?” I asked, ever-so calmly.

I was standing in the middle of the kitchen, stunned. What just happened?!?!?!

I have never felt so stupid in my life, but if it had never happened I would not have had this wonderful story to tell you.

So, moral of story, when water starts coming out of your sink at alarming rates, your hand is not a sufficient enough block.

TURN OFF THE WATER!