I said while talking into my cell phone to my wife, Laura, on the other end. It is a nice phone, it is my crack-berry, as my wife so eloquently calls it. It is something I have come to find I cannot live without. It is about a three inch high black and gray blackberry that has become one of my appendages. Mainly so because I am awaiting a call that says... "IT's time! Really, it is time!"
“I just got out of class and I am on my way home…I am starving…!”
It was 7:33 PM and I knew I would be cutting it close to get home in time to watch “Survivor.” It is a new season and the third episode would be coming on. I hate missing it. Between thinking of missing “Survivor” and eating I really started to have an mild panic attack.
You may wonder... "Survivor?" Okay, I have loved this show since the first season in Borneo. I have even tried out a couple of times. Well, when I was in my early 20s, that is. I would love to be on this show... mainly because no one would suspect I would do well. One day, one day... I will have my torch and I will be "the ultimate sole Survivor!" hahaha
“What have you had to eat today?” said Laura with a tone that I hate to hear. It is like she is disappointed in me… a tone only a mother usually would use.
“I ate.” I said, with short and to-the-point resonance.
“Ate what?” Laura asked.
“I had a Venti, non-fat, w/ whip Carmel Macchiato,” I said. “and a blueberry muffin!”
“Eric,” Laura said with a sultry sigh. “That is not enough…”
“I’m on my way home.” I interjected quickly, “can you maybe fix me a Caesar salad when I get home?”
“Yes.” She replied. “But, we don’t have any mozzarella cheese, can you pick some up at Publix?”
“Yep!” I said, “anything else? I was hoping this would be all because I was fading fast. The amount of sugar in my body was at an all-time low. I could feel my heart racing, I began to sweat and could tell that my caffeine buzz had worn off and all I had left were the jitters that caffeine leaves behind. I was basically a crack addict, but only thing was that my drug was coffee.
“Yes,” she said.
My fear was alive and well; she was going to have me meander around this store looking for something that I could not possibly find… it was probably going to be something of a womanly nature… like pads or something… however… I was cut off from my thinking when she said…
“Sweet tea. The Publix sweet tea, it is right next to the deli.”
What a sweet woman. She knew, to tell me, exactly where to go because being in my current state-of-mind I would need all the assistance in finding said beverage. By this time it was already 7:46 PM,; I knew I had less than 15 minutes to get into Publix, pick up everything I needed and be home in time for the opening montage.
I make it to Publix… I decide while there I will pick me and Laura up a sub so we can eat together. I am glad I did because, come to find out, Laura hadn’t eaten since 3 PM! I was in no mood to get into an argument, so I let it slide. I knew the argument would seriously cut into both my show and the affection I may receive later...
“Okay, I am home!” I said while running in and dropping off my laptop on the near by love seat. The love seat we have is so nice. It came from Rooms-to-Go, however, it sure has held up pretty good. But, everyone keeps reminding me that our house will soon lose its luster when Mauldin arrives.
“I’m glad to see you.” Said Laura.
I could tell she was waiting for me to notice she was there. I looked at the clock, it was 7:59 PM. I had made it! I couldn’t believe I made it home and had not missed my show! I ran over and kissed my wife ever-so gently on the cheek and embraced her. It was hard to get a good hug in lately due to her pregnant belly. I can’t pull her in as close as we used to without it being in the back of my mind that we are about to squish Mauldin to death. In my mind it felt like we were in slow motion. My mind was racing a million miles a minute due to the amount of caffeine I had ingested a few hours before. I was so hungry my primal instincts began to take over. I wanted food… I wanted it now…
“Yes,” I replied. “I am so glad to be home!”
I finally got home to eat salad, my sub; see my show and love on my woman.
Moral of story… Venti coffee’s from Starbucks.. can really mess you up. Get a grande.