29

It occurred to me, the other day, on Easter, that I was hitting a major milestone along with my son… I was having my 29^th Easter and my son was having his first!

A few days prior, to Easter, I had my 29^th birthday. Now, please understand, I know 29 is just a number, but coming to grips with the idea that I was actually that much closer to 30 kinda freaked me out.

Has my hair really receded that much? Has my waistline grown more? Is my back going out more than normal? I can say yes to two of the three and I won’t specify which ones. Hint: I will say that I noticed my age the other day when I went to the gym… I haven’t worked out pretty much since Mauldin arrived. I certainly haven’t had the time, but Laura is losing weight faster than the speed of light. However, it seems I am gaining what she is losing. I walked into the gym and proceeded to hop on the nearest treadmill… I wanted to do the elliptical machine, but all were taken at that moment. Of course, the machine I want to use is… well, in use. I run on the treadmill for approx. 10 minutes, give or take a second to tie my shoe… and head over to the bike machine because the Elliptical was still being used. It would be my luck as soon as I start the bike someone finishes up on the Elliptical machine and someone else hops on right away… I had no idea they were so damn popular! Anyway, I ride the bike for another 15 minutes and head home… My muscles were already burning from that small amount of cardio – what is wrong with me? I used to run a six minute mile, although, the key word was “used” to. The next day, while I am at work… I take a deep breath and “Ohh,” my back… some muscle, I hadn’t used in a while decided he was pissed off and needed a moment to flare up and screw up my day…. Sorry, week.

Now, it also occurred to me, while on said treadmill, Mauldin and I are 28 years and some days apart… now I guess that makes me qualified to say “trust me, I’ve been there” and “because I said so…” when he gets old enough to ask me questions, but honestly, when you think about it, I’m a full-blown adult! At least, I am considered one by law, although, I don’t feel it. My mother-in-law, Carol, gave me a gift card to Abercrombie and, although, it is a very nice gift, should I still be wearing Abercrombie? I walk into the store and gag at the amount of cologne they spray in the air and are, more often than none, given shifty and dodgy looks by the other patrons and employees of the store. I mean I know I am not going to switch over to denim from Sears or JC Penny, but I don’t want to be one of those parents who walks around still wearing stupid clothes that I wore when I was 22! I have some choice t-shirts that I think are pretty funny, but I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing out in public, anymore.

For example:

Horn if you’re Honky

Original Foreplay

I’m naked under this shirt

Nebraska: It’s a great shukin’ state

I mean, my wife and I actually made an agreement, at 26, to cease and desist shopping at certain retailers after 28, because it just makes us feel old when we go in there… But, am I really there? Will someone nominate me to the show “What Not To Wear?”

I am seriously not sure if I would feel comfortable having such restriction just because of my age… however, when we are out and about we see parents who have piercings in odd places and baggy jeans past their butt with huge chains, etc… while strolling through Target with their children in tow. I do not wanna be “those parents.”

So, I am currently working on sifting through my closet to retire many of my favorite and most comfortable T’s…

I cannot believe I am (and I quote) “pushing 30.” Lord give me strength.

P.S. – my back is much better, so gym, here I come! (and for the record, I workout with my shirt on... stupid Bo-flex commercials...)