Monday, March 29, 2010

Time! There's never any time!

Sometimes I feel like "Jessie Spano" from Saved By the Bell...

Although, there are many similiarities I am lacking, but the things that stand out the most are how often I say...


Although, I never applied to Stanford... the amount of Starbucks I consume would probably be the amount of pills she was taking... I guess I am addicted to caffine.

I am constantly finding myself having to think three steps ahead because of work, school and family. It is really hard juggling everything and finding time to fit everything in...
Even finding a day to schedule getting my hair cut, having the oil changed in my car or running to pick up the dry cleaning has to be minutly scheduled due to everything going on...

I, thankfully, and hopefully, will be able to mark one off of that list come this May. I will be officially graduating from Kennesaw State University with a Bachelor's degree in Communication. It feels like the day will never get here and tonight my wife decided to be the voice of reason for me when I almost skipped my Economics class...

I sit in my chair in my Statistics class and my professer tells us all he will see us on Wednesday... I reach down to pack up by red, Northface book bag. I put my calculator in the front, zipper pocket and proceed to stuff all the notes I so dilligently took during the class. I then reach over to my gray, Blackberry smartphone and proceed to text my wife, Laura...

"I will see you shortly!"

I almost immediatley recieve a message in return - BUUZZZZZ (my phone is almost always on vibrate.)

"Why?"

I start to wonder, why am I leaving class early? But, then I know it isn't just because my day had been hellishly long, or I was tired or even that I needed to go to the bathroom... I was looking for any really good excuse to leave campus... was I feeling sick, no. Oh! I wanna see my family. I want to tuck my little munchkin into bed and rock him to sleep before he gets to big for us to do that.

I text back, "B/c I said."

"Was class cancelled?" she replied.

I thought, should I lie? Do I tell the truth? The angel and devil were sitting on each side of my Black, Calvin Klein sweater... the devil kept turning my cap backwards and the angel was tryin to fix it back... I thought...I am an honest person and don't want to lie..

"No," I typed

":/"

I went ahead and called her and she played the "voice of reason" or "the bad guy" as she would call it. I wasn't mad at her... I was disappointed. Disappointed because I want to be finished with school... I want to be home.. I am tired of the whole college scene. I am too old for this.

I mean I wake up at 6am... am out of the house by 7am with Mauldin in tow and to work by 8am. My days feel so long during the week, but the weekends just seem to fly by as if they never even happened at all.

The amount of time I am alotted with my family is such a sad amount. I cannot believe how we all do what we do day after day. If you think about it... we all work so hard during our younger years dating... trying to find someone suitable to marry... then you either both work of just one of you, but no matter what you are still apart. The hours just do not justify... however, if we didn't work we wouldn't be able to have a roof over our heads, food, etc... the essentials to survive are no longer good enough. We all must have cars, enough money to buy nice clothes, etc... The vicous cycle goes on and on and all the while you are working to survive you work even harder to maintain the relationships you worked so very hard to find in the first place. A lot of people use their weekends for "girl's nights out" or "guy's weekends" away from their wives... Why? I barely get anytime with my wife and son as it is! I added it up and right now my wife and I actually get to spend, during the five-day work week, a total sum of 22 hours, waking hours to be with each other... even less I get to spend with my child! It's insane.

Now what is my whole point in this seemingly bitter diatribe? None, none at all... but isn't that what blogs are for? Thoughts on a screen...

Well, the only solace I gain from this is I am about to go to my Econ class and learn about the economy system in India. Really? May 5th hurry... please!

5 comments:

Laura said...

Voice of Reason...
The Bad Guy...

Either way, I don't like being it sometimes. I can't wait for you to be done too and be home. You will be soon enough.

I love you :)

Anonymous said...

You are almost there! Bill and I are so proud of you for your perserverance. We know how hard this is and has been. Keep your focus and you will have that diploma and more time for your precious family! Mom Carol

DC Urban Dad said...

Just think of how proud your kids will be man. Keep pushing.

margaret said...

I love it that you quoted saved by the bell! That is one of my favorte eposides.

Caleb Gardner said...

"I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...scared!"

I was just thinking of that episode yesterday. Weird.

Does this mean that you'll be starring in Showgirls next? :)